Mutha' Sucka'
Okay, time for a little venting about my trip last nite to Q's first football game of the season. First of all it is about an hour and 15 minutes away on this winding two lane road with the river on the one side and step hillside on the other. Needless to say the road is narrow, gorgeous for those whose eyes aren't glued to the road or the speeding oncoming traffic. Well Q rides the bus up to the game leaving me the option of driving up by myself or taking our newly acquired stray dog Josie Grossie (yes named after Drew Barrymore in "Never Been Kissed"). We named her this b/c she burps like a 200 pound man. Anyhoo, I decided to take Josie with me in my little green Honda Civic because she has separation anxiety when I go to work and has dug tunnels to China in our yard (oh yeah did I mention we are RENTING this house)
So I guess my reasons for taking her were two sided, but I thought she would like the drive. I've only taken her for short rides, the longest being to Lewiston 20 minutes away. So we get on the road and she is sooooo excited she starts barking, with her head out the window behind me, at EVERY car that goes by the opposite direction. Well I just thought she would get tired of doing this since we were gonna be on the road for such a long time! She couldn't possibly keep up this pace, right????? WRONG!!!!!!!! She kept it up the whole entire trip, plus she decided that she hated the Semi-trucks that we kept passing and barked uncontrollably. I kept yelling at her, but to no avail.
So picture this, my dog barking madly out the window, me screaming at her to shut up , all the while I am trying to concentrate on the goat trail that they call a highway!! My head is pounding half way through the trip and I was wishing drinking and driving wasn't illegal. I also has serious thoughts of dropping Josie the Barking Demon Dog at one of the many historical sites along the way. Bet that's illegal too!!!!!!
Well I decided yelling was doing no good and the radio stations were not coming in out in BFE, so I decided to listen to whatever CD was in the stereo. Well it was Mariah Carey, and all the songs on it make me think of my breakup. Freakin A!!!!!!!!!!!!! What were my choices 1) throw CD out the window...no costs too much and don't want a littering fine. 2) Turn up the static on the radio....Hell no!!!!! 3) grin and bare it and blast it so loud it doesn't sound so sad anymore. Well I went with option #3.
I kept telling myself we are almost there...almost there. Then all of a sudden I come up behind 2 logging trucks, some Semi with the words M.S. Carriers on it, and two cars from Grangeville Idaho...yes IDIOT COUNTY!!!! They are going 40 FREAKIN miles an hour in a 55 zone. All of you familiar with my road rage issues could imagine the words coming out of my mouth. Then apologizing b/c I am trying not to cuss and to be more positive!!!! Well with no way around them and the big stupid truck with MS Carriers looming right in front of me and the demon dog barking I decided to start making up names to what MS might mean, here are a few I came up with....Mutha Suckin Carriers, Monkey Scrotum Carriers, Move it Stupid Carriers(okay so I added an It. I take poetic license) Can't remember anymore!
But we finally came to a passing lane and I figured I was taking mine and the demon dogs life in my hands to pass, but I was running out of names and patience. So we all finally get around MS Carriers and then the freakin idiots from idiot county slowed down to 45!!!!!!!!!!! I was late for the game had sworn several hundred times and had the headache from hell and I was like FUCK BEING POSITIVE!
I have gotten back on the no cussing and being positive wagon...and oh yeah my kid won 22 to 8 and it was the first time in 15 years that we have beaten our rivals the Kamiah Kubs!!! Ya Whoo. Freaking MAuth Suckas...sorry had to do it one more time!
So I guess my reasons for taking her were two sided, but I thought she would like the drive. I've only taken her for short rides, the longest being to Lewiston 20 minutes away. So we get on the road and she is sooooo excited she starts barking, with her head out the window behind me, at EVERY car that goes by the opposite direction. Well I just thought she would get tired of doing this since we were gonna be on the road for such a long time! She couldn't possibly keep up this pace, right????? WRONG!!!!!!!! She kept it up the whole entire trip, plus she decided that she hated the Semi-trucks that we kept passing and barked uncontrollably. I kept yelling at her, but to no avail.
So picture this, my dog barking madly out the window, me screaming at her to shut up , all the while I am trying to concentrate on the goat trail that they call a highway!! My head is pounding half way through the trip and I was wishing drinking and driving wasn't illegal. I also has serious thoughts of dropping Josie the Barking Demon Dog at one of the many historical sites along the way. Bet that's illegal too!!!!!!
Well I decided yelling was doing no good and the radio stations were not coming in out in BFE, so I decided to listen to whatever CD was in the stereo. Well it was Mariah Carey, and all the songs on it make me think of my breakup. Freakin A!!!!!!!!!!!!! What were my choices 1) throw CD out the window...no costs too much and don't want a littering fine. 2) Turn up the static on the radio....Hell no!!!!! 3) grin and bare it and blast it so loud it doesn't sound so sad anymore. Well I went with option #3.
I kept telling myself we are almost there...almost there. Then all of a sudden I come up behind 2 logging trucks, some Semi with the words M.S. Carriers on it, and two cars from Grangeville Idaho...yes IDIOT COUNTY!!!! They are going 40 FREAKIN miles an hour in a 55 zone. All of you familiar with my road rage issues could imagine the words coming out of my mouth. Then apologizing b/c I am trying not to cuss and to be more positive!!!! Well with no way around them and the big stupid truck with MS Carriers looming right in front of me and the demon dog barking I decided to start making up names to what MS might mean, here are a few I came up with....Mutha Suckin Carriers, Monkey Scrotum Carriers, Move it Stupid Carriers(okay so I added an It. I take poetic license) Can't remember anymore!
But we finally came to a passing lane and I figured I was taking mine and the demon dogs life in my hands to pass, but I was running out of names and patience. So we all finally get around MS Carriers and then the freakin idiots from idiot county slowed down to 45!!!!!!!!!!! I was late for the game had sworn several hundred times and had the headache from hell and I was like FUCK BEING POSITIVE!
I have gotten back on the no cussing and being positive wagon...and oh yeah my kid won 22 to 8 and it was the first time in 15 years that we have beaten our rivals the Kamiah Kubs!!! Ya Whoo. Freaking MAuth Suckas...sorry had to do it one more time!
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